I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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