Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
