I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
