You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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