By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
