Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
