At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
