Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
