You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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