Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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