My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
