The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
