she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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