last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
