Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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