Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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