oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
