yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
