Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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