Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize