my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
