using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
