I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
