You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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