wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
