We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it because I queefed?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
