Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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