Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
