I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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