her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
