Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
