champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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