I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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