yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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