no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize
