you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
