omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
