u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
