It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
