idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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