Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need moral support for this bender
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
