we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
