So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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