the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
