White coat. Heels.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize