hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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