i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
