I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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