btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
