so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
