I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
