I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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