I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize