I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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