Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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