Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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