White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
