This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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