We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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