The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
