She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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